Lest anyone thinks that we are rosey posey all the time around here, I am going to set that record straight. Today I was lucky to see 8pm roll around without LOSING MY MIND, let alone find any stillness in the chaos that was our life.

As any parent knows, there are days when you feel born to raise children and other days that you fail miserably – it’s that doggone yin-yang thing. Today was definitely a fail miserably day. I watch another 4 year old girl (E) and 2 year old boy (R) one day a week and this just happened to be that day. Usually, there is some drama between Audrey and E, but today all four of them were in rare form. My usually mild-mannered Anna pinched R at least 5 times to the point where I’m sure he had bruises. Audrey and Eva were like oil and water mixed together. OMG. I was seriously an inch away from losing it altogether. And everyone knows that an unhappy mama makes unhappy children. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m not complaining, mind you. I know that I am blessed to have healthy children who are also gifted with a healthy dose of moxie (and I love that, really…well, sometimes I love it). I am just venting here because it helps. On days like this it is REALLY difficult to seek the still, yet that is precisely why I started this blog.

Because the stillness is still there.

Even in the midst of the hair pulling, tattletale telling, pinching and screaming, it is still there. In the very few minutes that we snuggled on the couch before the hair pulling resumed, there is still. As we kneel and look at the first tulip getting ready to bloom outside our front door, there is still. As Justin says the magic words, “why don’t you get out of here,” there is still. As I unexpectedly see one of my all-time favorite books on a library shelf, The Secret Garden, I am transported back to the magic of childhood, and there is still. As I stroke Audrey’s arm while she drifts to dreamland and listen to her whisper that she will always remember her silly time with Daddy and me coming home, there is still.

So, it is there, the stillness. It’s not always easy to find. Sometimes you have to shout, “WHERE IS THE STILL?” It might only be seconds instead of minutes or hours, but rest assured when you seek it, you will find it.

But you must seek it.

Else it will be lost in the shadow of grey days like these. Perhaps grey days are God’s way of reminding us to not take the stillness for granted. The stillness is a gift.

So keep seeking.