One minute I put a pizza in the oven, the next I was running toward the stairs. With eyes wild and heart on fire, I felt IT rising.  Panic. Out of nowhere. Wait. Maybe this isn’t panic, maybe it’s the virus that Anna had a few days ago. Let’s see, sudden nausea, hot flash, pins and needles every which way. All I could think was bed. I laid down shaking under the covers. Is this different from a panic attack? Is it the same? If it’s the flu, why am I not throwing up? I reached for Google and broke my number one rule.

Hands shaking, I typed out the search words:

“Symptoms of stomach flu.”

This couldn’t be anxiety…or could it?

I slept for 24 hours. When I finally ventured downstairs, I said THE WORDS to my family. “I think I might be having anxiety symptoms.” No way, they said. Right, mom?!? You’re just sick.

Yes, I’m sick, but I also feel like I’m having anxiety again.

Off and on anxiety symptoms and tiredness followed me the next two days. There were times I was sure I was having a setback, and other times I was sure it was simply low blood sugar or high cortisol from being ill.  

The truth is that it simply doesn’t matter why I feel the way I do. My body is revved up for one reason or another, so what in the world was I to do?

 

 

Be Honest About It

I told my family and a few select people that I was struggling. It helps to have them know.

 

Be Kind To Yourself

Do the same things you’d do if you had the flu. Drink lots of water. Get lots of rest. Breathe in and out. Let the waves come, don’t try to fight them.

 

Be Brave

Put on the armor that God gives you. Claim the peace of Jesus. It’s yours. There’s nothing you have to do to get it. Don’t let it sit unused. Claim it. Claim it. Claim it.

 

This journey of Seeking the Still is just that: a journey. I haven’t arrived. And while I have tangibly seen the victory of Jesus, I’m still in process. So are you. It’s not called “I Found The Still.” I’m still seeking that which is fully available in Jesus.

 

Having had acute anxiety, I may always be more prone to it. In times of stress and sickness, it leaks out. It’s good for me to know this and be prepared. But I will not allow it to be used against me.

 

No weapon formed against me, or you, shall prosper. That verse doesn’t mean no weapon will be formed against us, it just means it won’t win. We claim the peace of Christ. It is ours, and we will wield it in His almighty name.

You, too?

COME OUT OF HIDING,
MESSY MIRACLE

There is hope  +  You are not alone