I giggled as my eyes scanned the new comment on my Facebook page, “You are such a calm & peaceful person… So inspiring!!” If only they knew…
How often we brave the world, full of smiles and glow, a façade covering the reality of what lies within.
This quest of mine to seek the still was not born out of calm or peace, wisdom or insight. It was born out of a desperate need to have what I could not grasp. In a lifetime of seeking, striving, and proving, I have won the awards, earned the perfect scores, and worn the lovely masks. I’ve also turned to drink for escape, slipped into the darkness of depression, and lain awake in the cycle of anxiety. Seeking the still, I am.
I recently read a quote by Angela Thomas in her book Stronger that sums it up, I’m just a human being whose life keeps proving how much I need a Savior.
At the beginning of this 31 day journey, let’s be perfectly honest about who we are, and what we’re seeking. I have nothing to offer from my own reason or strength. The meaning of grace is an undeserved gift. Not earned. At all. When I chose Gracefully for the title of this series, I was not referring to any beauty that lies within you or me. Gracefully is reminder that our greatest need for still, that place where we can finally be free, is completely unattainable on our own. It is underserved. It is a gift. But it is there for you and for me.
seeking the still within the boundaries of God’s grace. I’m open to the
whispers of the wind, so fly with me if you wish!