The Cost of “Keeping It Together” 

Once upon a time, I spent my life achieving, controlling, and plowing through challenges to prove my worth.  I was the quintessential first born – a perfectionist, over-achieving, people-pleaser.  

Those strengths served me well and were also my undoing.

I looked in the mirror at the familiar face with the empty eyes.

Anxiety, stress, and insomnia became dark shadows that covered my days and terrorized my nights.

I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I felt joy.

Never Alone

And so began a long winter of my soul. I kissed my husband and girls goodbye, stepped out of the car and into a hospital for an evaluation. 

I spent a lot of time on the bathroom floor and reached out to truly grasp my Savior’s hand for the first time.

I felt him whisper, “Do you want to feel peace and joy again?  You can’t work your way out of this one on your own.  Be Still and Know that I am God.”