In Part I of this post, I shared how a season of pain and struggle unmade me (still is, really)…I’m breathing through an anxiety attack as I type these words. The trials of my life have a way of uncovering what is true and opening my clenched fists to let go of what is false. I’m learning a three-fold way of living vulnerable that is changing my world.
Vulnerability With Self
I don’t want to admit that I’m wrong. Anything, but that, Jesus. Surely there is a way to fix this. I just need to read the right book, find the right doctor, or eat the right food. Control is what I know. It’s what I’m good at doing. It’s so much easier to pretend I’m ok. If I admit that I’m not ok, then I’m admitting there’s something wrong with me. And there is…sin. I put myself at the center of my life instead of you, Lord. I try to surrender and give you control only to take it back, again. I make excuses. I hide.
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. Help me be honest about my sin.
Vulnerability With Jesus
I’m sorry for making an idol of myself, Jesus. As I become more aware of my sin, I also become more aware of how much I need You and Your forgiveness. Help me spill all my secrets to You, a daily shedding. I want to talk to You and share my fears and failures. I want to open my heart and life to You, Jesus. You walked the hardest road for me…the road to the cross…to the grave…to the resurrection. Who am I that you would do that? Help me daily confess my sins and receive the amazing grace of your forgiveness.
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. Remind me to talk to you daily and bask in your love, for you keep no records of my wrongs.
Vulnerability With Others
Everything in me wants to hide my weaknesses from others, Jesus, to pretend I have it all together. In fact, I spent a lifetime doing just that. But I’m done, or at least I want to be. I’ve learned we were made to live in community. Sharing my hard days with others has broken down walls. When I’m honest about my trials, You bring amazing people into my life to say, “me, too.” I know now that I was never meant to walk alone, without You and without others. I want to remove my mask and live free.
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. Help me to remove my mask and share my story with those around me. Help them see You through me.
I wonder what would happen if we tried to be more vulnerable with ourselves, with Jesus, and with one another. It would be difficult, for sure. It would be messy, yes. But it also might open the space for Jesus to work in powerful ways. I am willing to try. Are you?